Let me just let my big skeleton hang right on out of the closet; I’ve been married 3 times. Yes I said it. Some times I’m embarrassed, especially being a Christian. I am frowned upon in some churches just by being divorced once much less twice! It’s also awkward at times when a friend, teacher, coworker, etc… asks about the father and I have to say “fathers”. I some times make a joke that I am trying to incorporate all the letters of the alphabet into my name during my lifetime. (ha ha) However, it’s my life! It’s my little space on earth.
God, for some reason, has put this little family together and has given me the job of parenting these kids and raising them for His purpose and I plan to do that with my all my heart and soul! The definition of “blendermom” to me is I am a biomom with kids of my own, and I am a stepmom helping to raise my “bonus” child and here we are thrown in the “family” blender.
In my past relationship there was a lot of abuse. Abuse I didn’t know existed. I thought you had to be hit to be abused, but boy was I wrong. Suffering through all other forms of abuse left me broken and somewhat traumatized. Being told and/or made to feel that I was worthless and unworthy of love because of my actions and words can really do a number on you. I was made to feel that before this person I was capable of making normal day to day decisions of how to act, speak, and feel suddenly to find out that with them I was not normal. That all the things I did were wrong, stupid, and continuously caused me to “catch hell” (to use their words). It was such a hard time because I felt that if anyone knew they would think all of the horrible things that were being fed to me were true. To everyone else we seemed perfect! My bruises were on the inside and so I felt shame, anger, and guilt for not being “right”.
So now here we are with this handmade, by God-given family. We have 3 kids with 3 other parents that go to 3 different schools and have 3 different parenting schedules. One thing I feel so strongly about deep down in my soul is when trying to parent these children, God doesn’t make mistakes; people do. It is not their fault we divorced. Our divorce has hurt them bad enough, so my purpose is to raise them with as much stability as I possibly can give them in this totally unstable situation.
I love sharing my journey of finding that unconditional love and acceptance that my heart cried out for, and that it was not found in my husband or my family. It was found in my Creator! The One who loved me so much that He sent His Son to die for me! He doesn’t see me for my skeletons, my mistakes. It is with that complete and perfect love from my Heavenly Father that I bring to my husband, blended family, and yes others such as my children’s families. 1 John 4:9-11 NLT ” God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love-not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. Dear friend, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other.”
Donna Mott is known as the “Blendermom” thrown in the mix of a blended family on her blog www.blendermom.me. She has a fourteen year old daughter and a nine year old son as well as a ten year old bonus son. Together with her wonderful supportive husband, she is trying to teach her children the truest Christian values of loving God and loving each other through compassion and service. She is a 2009 graduate of “She Speaks” through Proverbs 31 ministries and has written for www.upliftingfamilies.com. She enjoys writing personalized poetry as well as writes and composes personalized songs for special occasions. She also loves snuggling with her seven pound furbaby maltipoo named Brady.