This article is featured on Juan’s personal blog, which you should check out! I am continuously shocked by the audacity of some people. This woman he is referring to really had no manners whatsoever. –Trish
Having triplets brings a lot of attention as many of you can imagine. My Facebook wall is full of ohh, ahh, awww, cuuute, too cute… kind of comments. We received presents from people who we don’t even know, and you feel the TRIPLE love everywhere. But after the shock of this extraordinary moment has settled down and you make some time to see the dynamic of the people around us, oh boy… some of my friends came to my house and without even saying hello they started to shoot their cameras and posting the pictures on FB; like there is no tomorrow.
Then this lady that I barely know sent us 3 outfits in the mail that were too small already (premiee sizes are unreal) and she keep looking and asking for her outfits in every picture I posted. Guess what, Mrs. Lady, we returned your tiny outfits and we traded in for formula, which is much more needed.
Now where the attention really became a headache is during “The Mall experience”. I am not naïve, and I knew that going to the mall with a triplet stroller and white baby triplets in it would be a reason to be profiled. However I never suspected it would be such an intense and neverending experience.
Today I understand those Hollywood celebrities when they cover them self with huge sunglasses and seems they are always running in public and jumping into dark tinted glass SUV’s.
The neverending people staring at you and your babies, asking questions or making comments or remarks in your face every 10 seconds is really overwhelming. I can actually count with my fingers all of the questions because they are all the same. People really expect you to stop and answer them every time.
My reaction to the first person I encountered in the Mall entrance was polite and even cool and I wanted to tell them the whole story of how we had triplets through surrogacy and that my partner was another man and so on… then the next person received a very abbreviated version of the previous story. With the third, I just limited myself to respond with yes or no and to act like I was in a hurry, then the fourth interaction was just a simple and quick smile, and I kept walking but turning my head because the lady at this point was following me and asking me more questions… are they yours? are they triplets? are they identical? how many girls and boys? the one with a bow is a girl? Are they natural? Are they NATURAL?? No, they are synthetic, all made in Korea. Trust me by the 6th and 7th person I was wearing my dark huge sunglasses and I was walking like I was deaf and very angry. Pretty much looking straight in front and never ever looking back again.
One lady screamed at me from across the hallway – I NEED TO SEE THOSE BABIES!!!!! I kept walking in my direction while she stayed there, planted, expecting me to stop and make her demand a reality. I clearly heard her throwing me a fit after she left and my partner said, “I think you were a little rude with that lady.” I thought, really? So you just scream to somebody and express what you want and you expect people stop for you without even asking politely? May I, could you? Please…
So after my first Mall experience I had to make a decision on what to do next, my choices are:
1- Never go to a mall again and stay with 4 crying babies in my house until they don’t need a stroller and go to college.
2- Bring some aid with me to stop people from being rude or at least educate them that their questions are not very welcome because they are all the same and they are formulated to us every 45 seconds. People don’t see that we are busy, we are not there for their entertainment, we are there because we need to shop or just because we need time out before we kill the performers of this show.
So I am planning to write a F.A.Q. sign for my stroller and save some time answering and showing people their questions are not unique.
- Are they triplets? A: Yes (and no, I don’t run a daycare facility)
- Are they 2 boys and a girl? Yes (Can you see their outfit colors and Lily’s gigantic flower on her head? )
- Are they yours? Yes, I paid for them (that is hard to prove since they are white babies)
- How old are they? A: Really? You do the math, they were born April 1st.
- You must have your hands full… A: No shit! I didn’t realize that yet.
- Holy cow triplets??? A: yeah (Holy cow, you make another idiot asking the same question for the 10th time today)
- We only had twins in my family, never triplets .A: Oh… (so?)
- Are they natural? Yes they are all 100% natural. (their clothes are synthetic though)
- Are all identical? emmm no, only the boys (after they asked if they are boys and girls…
- Can I touch them? A: No! (They usually go, he he he while the extend their hand to touch them, and I firmly repeat -NO, really, you can’t touch them. Long silence…- I am sorry…. and they go.
Juan Luque was born and raised in a small town in the mountains, in northern Argentina. He is the older of 7 children, and he left his parent’s home when he was 18. In 1999, Juan migrated to USA and started working as a design architect in an American corporation. Tired of the boring process of designing schools, and government buildings, Juan decided to open his own business. In 2009 Juan met Patrick, the love of his life. Committed to one another, and longing for children of their own, both participated in fertility treatments. Through the help of 2 surrogate mothers, they have 4 children, all related to them biologically. Today they have moved from a small house in historical Tampa Bay to the Suburbs of Straight America, as he defines it. They own a large house, a dog and a Minivan. In a short period of 2 years their life has changed for ever. This is their journey. Learn more about Juan and Patrick from Juan’s blog: www.prolificfamily.blogspot.com Follow Juan on Twitter: @juanluque Facebook: www.fb.com/2dadsplus4