Babies are Here

Babies

Featured on Juan’s personal blog when they first brought their beautiful triplets home.

I  stand in this infinite field of green grass, looking at a blurry horizon, with closed fists and just wait for life to change.

I am ready! Am I? I really don’t know how ready I am supposed to be. I may not know all the details of how to solve and provide for 4 babies in diapers but I know I have the courage to learn, fight and adapt. I guess yes, I am ready.

In the meantime I escape anytime I can and take pictures of Lily, she is just magnificent! We are waiting for the twin boys to be released from the hospital. We are waiting to be reunited as a family of 6, and then we will feel that our journey has begun, but hey this is still the journey. It seems so surreal because we are not in the same place at the same time. I guess all humans need this sense of belonging to a place in order to exist as a family.

The delivery was quick and dramatic. By the time we prepared an improvised bag with unnecessary things and left what was important and drove recklessly to the Bayfront Children’s Place, the triplets were born.

Our surrogate’s water broke at around 6:30 A.M. on April 1, and right when she started to push, the nurses knocked her down with a sedative and took her to the operating room. They simply cut her belly and pulled those babies out! It sounds brutal and not very romantic. But that is what it was.

Liam came first, then Lily and finally little Leo. They named them: Baby A, B and C. They were between 2300 and 1900 gr. of weight and 34 weeks and 2 days.

We were the first male gay couple to cross the doors of the All Children’s NICU claiming babies as their children.

It was interesting to see all kinds of reactions and a total lack of preparedness from the Hospital staff. I had to correct a lady at the reception desk that said to somebody else at the phone. “Here are the adoptive parents of the J. triplets.” While I was waiting to know where my children were after they took them from the operating room. Our surrogate husband was with me. I said: “Mom, they are our biological children, we are not adopting parents we are THE parents. Please be precise with your words.” It felt right and fair. Also for J. who may have felt uncomfortable after somebody was suggesting they were giving their children up for adoption.

The nurses in the NICU were expecting us, good thing to have a friend that works there and she was able to announce our arrival and they got ready. However I learned that day that social workers watch like eagles who get in and out of the hospital.

We were not allowed to see our precious babies until we were able to prove we were the parents. It took several discussions to make them understand this wasn’t an adoption, we were biological parents and the surrogate wasn’t their mom. Until we said to the social worker all perplexed, we got an egg donor, fertilized the eggs with our sperm and then transferred the embryos into our surrogate’s uterus.
In ordinary circumstances this can be very humiliating, but maybe because we have thick skins about humiliation or because the emotions from being parents and having 3 healthy babies were so high. We really didn’t care. We just answered all the questions, gave them the papers they wanted and 5 hours later we were walking into the place where we will met our triplets and stay day and night for the next 2 weeks.

They were separated in 3 different rooms. They were all wired and taped. They were red, they were small and almost transparent. Their faces however were beautiful.

All the tension, anxiety, fears and stress from the past 10 months were absolutely gone when we were able to be there. Looking at our children. These small little things waggling and breathing.

At one point, just a few minutes later from our arrival, I found myself walking in and out from one room to the other, somehow trying to be with all of them at the same time. I felt confused. I needed to relate that feeling and behavior to understand what it was.

I remember one of our dogs having puppies and we as children moving their puppies in different places in the house to play and my dog going back and forth behind us, powerless, trying to keep them together. That’s the feeling! That is how I felt. Like a bitch trying to keep the litter together.

It has been 11 days since they discharged Lily from the NICU for being the heaviest and most mature of the three. I am staying at home with her and Lorenzo, our now 16-month-old son. I can’t stop staring at her, taking her pictures of her, and trying to make any connection possible. I feel such love already! It’s so different to my older son however it is not less or more intense.

I feel I am blessed, every day. I am totally blessed and don’t even know why God chose me for this incredible journey. I don’t need to know why. I am eternally grateful.

Juan Luque was born and raised in a small town in the mountains, in northern Argentina. He is the older of 7 children, and he left his parent’s home when he was 18. In 1999, Juan migrated to USA and started working as a design architect in an American corporation. Tired of the boring process of designing schools, and government buildings, Juan decided to open his own business.  In 2009 Juan met Patrick, the love of his life. Committed to one another, and longing for children of their own, both participated in  fertility treatments. Through the help of 2 surrogate mothers, they have 4 children, all related to them biologically. Today they have moved from a small house in historical Tampa Bay to the Suburbs of Straight America, as he defines it. They own a large house, a dog and a Minivan. In a short period of 2 years their life has changed for ever.  This is their journey. Learn more about Juan and Patrick from Juan’s blog: www.prolificfamily.blogspot.com Follow Juan on Twitter: @juanluque  Facebook: www.fb.com/2dadsplus4

juan y triplets-croped

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