Featured on Big Blended Family.
Have you noticed difficult transition days when your children or stepchildren come back from the other household? The strain of transition could be related to having different rules in each home.
At one point, I was dealing with these challenges. A family therapist suggested that we make the same rules in both homes. One of the ongoing issues we had with the girls was getting them to do their chores. The therapist suggested that we make a chore chart for each girl, with similar chores in both houses. She suggested that we decide what privileges to add or take away, as a team. I co-parent my two daughters with my husband, my ex-husband, and his wife, so collaborating is feasible.
The four adults used an Excel spreadsheet to make the chore charts. We printed multiple copies and laminated then, to be used in both homes.
We chose the chores based on the girl’s ages, and also based the privileges and punishments based on their development. If one of the kids fails to complete her chores, we have a jar filled with extra chores typed onto small pieces of paper. We have them randomly draw one extra chore for each chore they missed.
If you have an ex who will not cooperate, it might be more difficult to maintain consistency in both homes. If that is the case I suggest keeping things in your own home as consistent as possible. I also suggest trying family therapy.
Ready to try the chore chart system? Here’s a link to some free chore charts.
Have you tried chore charts before? I would love to hear your chore chart success stories.
Trish Eklund is taking a nontraditional approach to parenting children after divorce and remarriage. Raising her two daughters of ten and fourteen with her husband, ex-husband, and his wife, they consult one another on all parenting decisions. Trish has been featured on www.playground-magazine.com, and www.bigblendedfamily.com. She is a regular writer on www.herviewfromhome.com, writer and co-editor for Her View From Omaha. Follow her on Twitter: @trishiewriter, Google +, and Pinterest.